Outsourced
Elections: 2012, Humor, Video
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Sep 212012
Romney Apologizes To Nation’s 150 Million ‘Starving, Filthy Beggars’
Elections: 2012, Humor, Republicans
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Sep 182012
SALT LAKE CITY—Seeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans “pay no taxes” and do not take “personal responsibility and care for their lives,” Mitt Romney hastily called a press conference today to apologize personally to the “150 million starving, filthy beggars might have offended.”
Saying that he deeply regretted his choice of words at a private $50,000-a-plate fundraising function in May—during which he argued “ job is not to worry” about the lower-earning half of the nation’s populace—Romney personally appealed to the country’s “dirt-caked garbage pickers and toothless street urchins” for forgiveness.
“First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation,” a visibly contrite and solemn Romney said outside a campaign stop at a local high school. “Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides together—the rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters.”
“I am fully committed to building a better future for every American,” Romney continued, “and that means ensuring all 150 million grease-and-urine-soaked members of our society get a fair shake.”
The Romney campaign reportedly scrambled into damage-control mode after the video leaked Monday, issuing a statement late last night stating that the intended target of Romney’s remarks was ingrained big-government largesse, not the “hordes of uneducated, loathsome scum who unfortunately populate this country.”
Empty Chair, Another Win
Elections: 2012, Humor, Presidency, Republicans, Right Wing Nutzoids, Video
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Sep 042012
It wasn’t the first time Obama won with an empty chair.
Obama Camp On Eastwood: ‘Referring All Questions On This To Salvador Dali’
Mr_Electrico’s Twitter:
Yesterday, upon a chair
Clint met a man who wasn’t there
How sad it is that Rowdy Yates
Has ended up as Orly Taitz
“He is a great actor, and an even better director,” the president said in an interview with USA TODAY aboard Air Force One, on his way to campaign rallies in Iowa Saturday. “I think the last few movies that he’s made have been terrific.” …
Was he offended?
“One thing about being president or running for president — if you’re easily offended, you should probably choose another profession.” Obama said with a smile. He said there would be no effort to counter with a similar stunt at the Democratic National Convention, which opens in Charlotte Tuesday.
“I think we’ll be playing this pretty straight,” he said.
Sometimes It’s Just For The Laffs
Birthers, Books, Humor, Right Wing Nutzoids
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Mar 132012
Jerome Corsi does not care for our hobby and seems to take us Obots much more seriously than we take him. Loren Collins of Barackryphal, far from an Obot, but who reads Corsi so you don’t have to, posted on The Fogbow this very funny snip from Corsi’s ebook, Where’s the REAL Birth Certificate?:
WND has reported that a prominent Democrat, apparently operating with the full approval and cooperation of the president, has directed a team of up to one hundred who are paid to publish disinformation on a wide variety of Web sites to attack and discredit “birthers.”
The Obots have stated that their White House-appointed ring leader is Democratic Party operative James A. Johnson, the former chairman of Fannie Mae, who has posted on various Obot Web sites under the username “JimBot.”
It reminded me of the fun we had last summer when Corsi went investigating on notorious old liar Ed Hale:
(Corsi believed Ed Hale. Nice job, JimBot.)
Rush, “Reimburse Me For The Iraq War”
Health Care, Humor, Video
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Mar 062012
Mar 052012
By Verbalobe
The “birthers” have done us a wonderful service, by uncovering countless “anomalies” associated with Obama’s natal narrative and putative life history.
But they have completely misread the causes. Yes, there has been a 50-year, globe-spanning, diabolical conspiracy, but not by George Soros, and not to put a Marxist usurper in charge of American football. I believe it goes back to the Kochs, and Ayn Rand, and Eva Braun, who foresaw in 1957 that one day there would be an African American president, and set to work to ensure that he could be deposed quickly and bloodlessly.
It is they and their minions who are responsible for the missing microfiche, the tampered newspaper records, the confusion over the hospitals, the quotes by Kenyan politicians. It is they who bought off Granny Sarah and had her “admit” that Obama was born in Kenya. It is they who deleted a decade’s worth of Immigration records — so that even though Obama actually was born in Honolulu, the absence of evidence regarding whether Ann Dunham traveled to Kenya sure looks suspicious.
Obama has been bedeviled by the actions of this shadowy cartel every step of the way. It is they who ensured that Hawaii’s laws forbid the release of certificates to all but people with a “tangible interest.” Before 1957, the statute said you needed a “tangerine” interest, which anyone could acquire. Little things with big consequences.
That day he went to the post office to register for the draft? It was the woman in the dark trenchcoat who quickly stepped into line ahead of him, so that he had to stand at window 3, where the clerk was using a curiously defective date stamp. I’m sure Barack will remember. And it could take him down.
It was the cartel who persuaded a young, impressionable Stanley Ann Dunham to emigrate to Indonesia… yes, Lolo “Galt” Soetoro was in their employ. He tried, and failed, to adopt young Barack, and has never been heard from again. Still, the cartel hoped that it was enough that traveling overseas reduces ‘natural born citizenship’ to mere ‘mulatto.’ It was a confederate of the cartel who wrote “(Soebarkah)” on that famous passport form — a Javanese word that means “decoy.” Suspicious, the canny Dunham crossed it out, but not enough. It could be Obama’s Waterloo (which is French for “half-nelson”).
I’ll skip ahead — of course there is a confederate mole in the White House, and when they heard that a copy of the long form was coming in from Hawaii, they quickly volunteered to be the one to scan it — and made sure to use Photoshop’s “Forgery Layers” filter setting.
What about the fact that nobody remembers Obama from high school or college? Simple. The conspiracy is big enough to actually have trained every single American — via TV, radio, movies, schooling, and religious cant — to pay as little attention as possible to Obama. He mentions this in his writings, though his natural enthusiasm and optimism masks it. He found the world curiously, oddly difficult, strange barriers put in his way, people not trusting him, reluctant to encourage his advancement. That he rose above it all says much and more about his determination.
You’ll wonder, of course, how the cartel knew that Obama would be the “one” they needed to discourage, the one who needed false-flag evidence placed regarding his birth, the one whose life had to appear to be a fiction, when examined to any depth. And you’re probably coming to the same conclusion I have: they didn’t.
They did all this for every African American born in the US since 1960. ANY black man or woman who would have — or will — achieve the Presidency, would have been (or will be) found to have a similar slew of “anomalous” aspects to their life history.
Now THAT’S a conspiracy.
The Stinker
GOP Says NO, Humor, Presidency, Republicans, Video
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Mar 032012
Feb 212012
The endearing, satiric Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter, at the Birther Think Tank has a series of posts about the feuding going on in the Birther movement. She is up to the fourth in her trilogy.
Trouble In Birther Paradise, 0r, A Diet of Worms (Part 1 of the Birther Feud Trilogy)
A Conundrum Of Competence, or, The Tao of Poo (Part 2 of the Birther Feud Trilogy)
The Prodigal Rouses, Or, Don’t Have A Cow, Man!!! (Part 3 of the Birther Feud Trilogy)
Road To Joy, Or, Roll Over Beethoven!!! (Part 4 of the Birther Feud Trilogy)
She also has a nice gift for Birther lawyers. Heh.